for·give

fərˈɡiv/

verb

stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.

When I was 10 years old my grandmother said to me, “forgive, but don’t forget”.  I sat on her lap and listened, but I didn’t understand.  I played with her elephant drop earrings and simply nodded.  I couldn’t understand:  I was young and inexperienced.  However, I always remembered what she said to me.  It was engraved in my soul.  

Time passed and I always kept her message close, but as an adult, I often thought, “forgiving and not forgetting” was conflicting.  It implies a sense of holding on to the past, a sense of grudge.  Doesn’t true forgiveness mean a clean slate?  I wondered.  

Forgiveness, however, is really about the discontinuance of feelings of anger.  It’s about moving forward with new emotions.  

It has nothing to do with clean slates.  

Interesting, right?

And that’s the funny thing about actions: We can never take them back and when the feelings of anger pass, when forgiveness occurs, where do these past feelings go?     To oblivion or absorption?

I’ll let you decide for yourself, but I know where I stand.  

I know what my grandmother taught me, and every time I’m hurt, lied to, or deceived, and I forgive, I remember the running tally and hope that they don’t run out of chances.