Dela

Two years ago I was offered a teaching position in the YABC program at my school. I began working for an AP that was described as an “old school administrator... one of the few great ones left in the system”. I quickly learned she was that and more. She was real and didn’t sugar coat anything. There was no middle ground with her. It either was or it wasn’t. She either liked you or she didn’t, and whatever it was you would know!

And so, we hit it off. One night as I was leaving work she noticed my Frida Pin, loved it, and asked me where I got it from. It was around this time last year, so I told her I would get one for her. I figured I would throw the pin in with her Christmas gift from the staff.

I came home that night with a mission to order the perfect pin! She loved Frida, but she was also a big fan of Diego and she was so New York... gritty and raw. So when I finally saw the pin I ordered, I thought, “mission complete!”

It was supreme: Frida and Diego together in one pin. Frida had one arm on Diego and her hand on his shoulder. At the bottom, in a ribbon, it said “Gon’ brush yo’ shoulders off”. The pin is poetry. I immediately got it and was patiently waiting for it to arrive. I received confirmation and was charged, but I hadn’t received the pin. Worried that it wouldn’t arrive in time for Christmas, I started to send the company emails regarding the status of my pin. It was a small business, so I was emailing the woman who ran it and after many rude back and forth emails between her and I, I placed a stop payment on my card and although she had claimed that she had already mailed the pin, I never received it. I ordered another regular Frida pin from urban outfitters (or some place like that) and that was the end of it.

I gave my AP the new pin I had purchased and never mentioned the story to her. The truth is I was still pissed as hell because the new pin didn’t compare in quality and the one I originally wanted was just so kick ass... like her.

About a month later, she passed away. Suddenly. It was crazy. Everyone was shocked and hurt. I never saw people grieve like I did for this woman. Her wake was packed! Students came, staff from all her years in this career came, her family and friends... there was a line to get in to view her. It was a manifestation of the effect she had on the people lucky enough to know her.

I still feel horrible that I didn’t get to know her for longer than those few months. She said to me once, when I shared with her that I was expecting (I had recently found out that I was pregnant with my third child, Baby K), that one day we’ll share a drink and she would tell me her story of being a young mom and making a great life for herself when everyone was doubting her. I was upset and still am that we never got that opportunity. Still and all I have my few memories and my many presents from her (She took care of her teachers! And since she knew I loved Frida she shared some goodies with me that I will keep forever).

Last week as I opened my mail I had a registered package with a return address I didn’t recognize. Feeling a bit puzzled and curious I opened the package only to find the pin I ordered a year ago for my dearly departed boss.

There was no note. Only a pin with Frida, Diego, and a touch of Dela who I’m sure is in Heaven brushing her shoulders off, as she should.